


The Night is Young

by bodhirooks



Category: Dad's Army
Genre: Bonding, Drinking, Fluff, M/M, Manly Kisses, cheating?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-13
Updated: 2019-06-13
Packaged: 2020-05-07 08:35:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,181
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19205770
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bodhirooks/pseuds/bodhirooks
Summary: “Has she left you, Mr. Mainwaring?”George Mainwaring was silent for a long, long time. “I’ll take that as a yes, then…” Walker decided. After another beat of silence—definitely an awkward one—Walker spoke again. “I’m so sorry, George…”Mainwaring nodded absently for a moment or two before he suddenly perked up. “George? Who told you you could call me George?”Joe and Captain Mainwaring partake in some... unexpected bonding.





	The Night is Young

**Author's Note:**

> I watched Dad's Army for the first time and it was super cute and funny! I like these two a lot ;)

The night was dark, the air slightly muggy. Remnants of mid-summer humidity still clung to the sides of buildings and sewer-grates, smelling sickly sweet. Joe wrinkled his nose as he rounded the street corner, an arm wrapped around his middle. He was cradling a few… rare items in his jacket. Set to deliver them, the cover of darkness was on his side, as it usually was. Walmington’s roads were as familiar to Joe as the back of his hand, so he didn’t need a torch or street-lamps to light the way. That was probably for the best. Hodges would be on his back otherwise.

One, two, three houses down. The Mainwarings’ place was modest in size, though somewhat extravagantly manicured. Joe found the almost pinkish-brown shutters particularly revolting. Still, it wasn’t his place to judge. He had a nagging suspicion Mrs. Mainwaring — what was her name… Elizabeth — was responsible for the color scheme. Glancing both ways to make sure he wasn’t watched, Joe ducked up the walk and skipped onto the porch. Just as he brought his knuckles up to rap, the door swung open an inch. Frowning, he pushed it further, sticking his head into the house. “Mr. Mainwaring?” he called tentatively. The man really shouldn’t leave his door open at night. 

Listening for any sign of life, Joe’s brow wrinkled as no one replied. Most of the lights were off, but there seemed to be a lamp on in the kitchen. Odd. Hadn’t Mainwaring heard him? “Mr. Mainwaring?” he called again, slowly stepping inside and closing the door behind him. Normally the spiv didn’t have any scruples with breaking and entering, but someone was here, and he respected the captain’s right to privacy. On the other hand, this delivery was planned, wasn’t it? It’s not like he was stealing. He was  _ giving _ .

A few strides saw him into the kitchen. Joe’s eyes went wide. George Mainwaring was slumped over the dining table,  face down, hair askew. “Captain!” Joe cried, darting over. Before he did anything else he removed the bottles of whiskey from his jacket, setting them carefully on the table. They were expensive, after all. Gently, he took Mainwaring by the shoulders and lifted him. The man groaned. “Sir, what happened?” he asked, helping the man sit on one of the island chairs. Mainwaring mumbled something indiscernible. “Hold on a minute…” Joe tutted, searching the nearest counter until he found a dishrag. Stumbling to the sink, he ran it under water for a moment before making his way to Mainwaring’s side, pressing it against the captain’s forehead. “There you are, sir. Better?” 

Mainwaring nodded, clearing his throat and opening his eyes properly. “M’yes. Yes, thank you…” he replied, voice hoarse.

Joe’s frown deepened. “What happened? You’re in quite a state.”

“For good reason…” Mainwaring grumbled. Walker waited patiently for the man to continue. With a sigh, the captain did. “Elizabeth’s gone to London. Again.”

Walker nodded, though he was still confused. “But that’s… Normal, in’it?” 

Affronted, Mainwaring tossed his chin back. “Nothing of the sort! Thing is she’s… She’s gone for good. This time.” 

Now Joe really was concerned. “Gone for good? What do y’mean, has she-” Then it clicked. Putting two and two together, he lowered his voice, now somber. “Has she left you, Mr. Mainwaring?” 

George Mainwaring was silent for a long, long time. “I’ll take that as a yes, then…” Walker decided. After another beat of silence —definitely an awkward one—Walker spoke again. “I’m so sorry, George…” 

Mainwaring nodded absently for a moment or two before he suddenly perked up. “George? Who told you you could call me George?” 

Walker nearly smiled. If anything could cheer Mainwaring up, it was scolding and interrogating others. “Well don’t be so knit-picky, I was only trying to be kind! And I brought you your whiskey, after all, here.” Reaching across the table, he grabbed and set a bottle between them.

“Oh. Thank you.” Shifting the bottle to read the label, Mainwaring seemed to be turning something over in his head.

Unsure what to do but eager to help all the same, Walker sighed. “Do you want to talk about-”

“Certainly not!” Mainwaring insisted. “If it’s all the same to you, I suggest we get roaring drunk and forget the whole thing ever happened.”

Joe blinked. “We?”

Slightly rebuffed, Mainwaring drew in his shoulders. “Well yes. Yes, why not! You are here, aren’t you?” 

With a shrug Joe nodded. “Makes sense to me,” he conceded, dismissing the matter. When the captain reached for the bottle Walker swatted his hand away and took it himself. “‘Ere, let me get it,” he offered, uncorking the bottle. Before he could ask whether Mainwaring had any mugs the man had snatched the bottle away and taken a swig. “Cor blimey…”

“Don’t judge me,” Mainwaring snapped. “I’m in the midst of a crisis.”

Joe bared his hands placatingly. “Alright, alright! Suit yourself. Give some ‘ere…” Joe took the bottle back and took a drag, nearly gagging as Mainwaring thumped him on the back.

“Not too much! I’m paying you, you know, not the other way around.”

“Oi now, I’m selling this to you at a disadvantage!” Joe quipped, a broad grin on his face as he passed the whiskey back. Mainwaring could be quite entertaining, even when he wasn’t trying. Besides, behind the man’s grumpy demeanor he could be rather playful. Walker hoped to bring that quality out in him. “But I ‘spose you don’t want anything to do with my black market activities.” 

“Black market?” Mainwaring chortled, wiping his lips and passing the bottle. “Aren’t you a  _ wholesale supplier?” _

There it was! Joe rolled his eyes innocently, enjoying slightly-tipsy-Mainwaring more than he thought he would. “Ah, nah, I’m just a crook, through-and-through.” 

“Well, whatever your inclinations, you-”

Joe brought the bottle down mid-drink. “Inclinations?” he teased, the word almost a giggle. “What are you playing at Mr. Mainwaring?” 

“Oh, oh, nothing…” Mainwaring flustered, coughing awkwardly. “Simply your… illegal activities.”

“Which ones?” Joe asked crassly, a sly grin on his face. 

The captain guffawed. “You rascal!” he barked, giving Joe a playful shove. Joe grinned, shrugging his shoulders and adjusting his hat. “What, am I embarrassing you?” he teased.

Joe’s cheeks turned pink. Somehow the pair of them had downed over half the bottle, and their conversation was verging dangerously on flirtation. And Walker was… Well, he was enjoying it. “I don’t embarrass easily,” he crooned, leaning in subtly. The spiv had to stop himself from fluttering his eyelashes. Mainwaring’s realization that Walker’s illegal activities were just that—more than one—was entirely true. On top of that, his inhibitions were lowered, and the captain was responding receptively. Might as well have fun and see where it goes.

Mainwaring shook his head, a crooked, obliging grin on his face. “I imagine you don’t,” he agreed. 

“Wanna find out-”

Mainwaring laughed. “Enough, you!”

“Ooh, I’m a ‘you’ now, am I?” Walker quipped, and suddenly the bottle was back in his hands, and now it was almost entirely empty. They must have polished it off without him noticing. 

Either of them. Mainwaring seemed pretty far gone himself. He was giggling and wobbling just as much as Walker was, leaning against the younger man. “Oh, you deserve it at this point. You’ve-you’ve-” he hiccuped, “Been an asset as much as a nuisance.” 

“More of a nuisance I would think,” Joe teased, far prone to self-deprecation. 

“Mm… Yes,” Mainwaring agreed, and they both roared with laughter.

Hiccuping as he calmed his giggles, Joe took off his hat, leaning back. He was quite loose and comfortable at the moment. Even though he was usually quick to kick back, this felt different, somehow. Like a very important first step.

“Hm.” Mainwaring made a curious noise, leaning over. “I never noticed your hair was curly under there.” Reaching out, he twirled a lock between his thumb and forefinger. “Soft. I thought it would be greasy.” 

“Oi!” Joe protested, though his cheeks were a warm pink. “I’m not some streetwalker, you know.” Even as he was objecting to the captain’s assumptions he leaned into the man’s touch. A silent thrill curled in Walker’s belly, racing up his spine, his actions transient, both conscious and unconscious. He didn’t want to think about it, just wanted to enjoy the moment, but he couldn’t help it, could he? He couldn’t help overthinking it just a bit. It was more than a little nerve-wracking.

Mainwaring, however, seemed completely unphased. Maybe he’d had too much to drink. “Hm. You wouldn’t make a half-bad one.”

Joe gasped. “You cheeky devil!” Smacking Mainwaring’s shoulder, he leaned in a little more, subtly nuzzling into Mainwaring’s touch. Mainwaring’s fingers stopped their motions. Joe froze. Had he gone too far? Heart racing in his chest, Joe parted his lips to speak, but before he could Mainwaring’s palm rested on his cheek. A soft “Oh…” escaped him, unimpeded. 

Captain Mainwaring smiled. It was small, and soft, and the kind of smile Walker had never seen on him before. He loved it. 

“You’re very pretty, you know,” Mainwaring said, voice a bare whisper. Slowly, his thumb slipped down, pad coming to rest on Joe’s lower lip. “Very pretty… Prettier than Elizabeth.”

Walker’s face was tomato-red. Deciding to ignore the fact that he was called “pretty” instead of “handsome,” he allowed himself one last, full-fledged thought. One last consideration before he threw caution to the wind, took an incredible, bold risk. And that thought was: Would he regret this?

No.

No he wouldn’t. 

Mainwaring was married, for sure, but Joe wouldn’t let that stand in the way. Theirs wasn’t the type of marriage that mattered. Besides, they were separated now, weren’t they? And Mainwaring was kind, tenacious, generous even. A bit egotistical, yes, but Walker knew underneath all that pomp was a deep and tender sensitivity. He was seeing some of that now. And gentility, too. The captain’s skin was rough, but his touch soft. Joe liked it.

No. He wouldn’t regret this. He took a deep breath. Then threw caution to the wind.

“Really? Just how pretty does that make me, then?” he asked.

Mainwaring grunted. “Well. It doesn’t take much to be more attractive than Elizabeth.” 

“Oi!'

“But you’re by far the prettiest man I’ve ever met.”

Joe grinned. At least Mainwaring didn’t accidentally call him a woman. “You really think so?” he baited, fluttering his eyelashes.

Mainwaring visibly swallowed. “Absolutely.”

“Well thank you…” Walker drawled, smiling dopily. After a beat of complete silence he laughed, feeling giddy and dizzy and nervous and wonderful. 

Mainwaring’s brows were furrowed in concentration. Was he not having a good time? Suddenly the man leaned in, scrutinizing Walker’s face. “You have nice lips, too…”

Joe ducked his chin bashfully. “Really? I’ve never really thought of my lips as my defining feature.” 

“No, that would be your nose.” 

“What?” 

“But your lips are quite lovely.” 

“Why?”

“Well, they look… very, you know…” Mainwaring started making strange gestures with his fingers, making Walker chuckle and grin with confusion.

“No, I don’t know,” he teased. 

“Stop with that cheek,” Mainwaring demanded, pointing an accusing finger. “Anyways. Your lips are very kissable. That’s what I was trying to say.” 

Joe gawked. A disbelieving breath passed his lips. “I…” This was an undeniable flirtation. In the captain’s oddly-serious way. But Joe had resolved to float with the breeze. “Well then. Prove it.” 

Mainwaring frowned. Evidently the alcohol was confusing him. Or he’d already forgotten what he’d said. “What?”

“Prove it,” Walker repeated. A thrill of pride and ecstasy shot through him at the dare.

Mainwaring preened, sitting up to his full height. “What if I do?” he countered, clearly not affronted by the suggestion.

“Well, I shan’t right complain. Was my idea after all.” 

Mainwaring nodded concedingly. “Alright, fair enough. Let’s do it. Come here, then.”    
  
Walker leaned in eagerly, smiling like an imp. “You first,” he insisted. Mainwaring had leaned in as well, so close their noses were almost brushing. 

“Hmm, yes,” Mainwaring agreed, and Walker closed his eyes.

When their lips finally met it was a soft, gentle press. Mainwaring’s lips were warm, chapped, slightly rough. Walker was delighted. Maybe the liquor was making things feel better than they actually were, but Joe wanted the kiss to last forever. 

After several long moments Walker expected the captain would pull back and put an end to their little experimentation, but instead a firm hand cupped the back of his head, drawing him closer, a stout arm looping its way around his middle. A noise of surprise escaped him, but Joe didn’t resist. 

A long moment passed in Mainwaring’s arms before Joe pulled back, eyes lidded, lips glistening. “That was… that was very good,” he commented, at a loss for words. 

“Was it now?” Mainwaring asked, looking terribly pleased with himself. “What say we don’t go it again?”

Walker smiled, entertained by the captain’s shameless enthusiasm. “Why not!” he agreed. 

So they kissed again. And again. And again.

They had another bottle of whiskey, after all.

 

* * *

 

 

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**Author's Note:**

> Comments and Kudos are always appreciated!


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